"I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you." -John 14:18Ever since I was little I knew I wanted to be a foster parent and then eventually adopt. I don't know when or how the idea came to me, but my parents had family friends that fostered to adopt and in high school I knew a family from church that fostered to adopt. I have close friends who also fostered to adopt and even baby-sat for a family that did the same. Recently, a friend adopted her little girl and she is a big part of my family's life. Everywhere I look and at every stage of my life I have known someone who was a fostered child and adopted and who was a foster parent and who adopted.



I inquired about becoming a foster parent about two years, but at the time I didn't think it was right. The thought resurfaced last spring/early summer and I continued the inquiry and began classes last September. I have not spoken publicly or posted anything anything via social media because there was a tiny doubt in the back of my mind that said I wasn't going to be licensed; I don't know why, maybe because it is a huge life changing event (and something that I really wanted). I was worried to talk about it as I was worried it wouldn't happen, but that is not the case anymore.

The process sounds simple- attend required classes, complete a home study and fill out a lot of paperwork. In reality, the process takes a while and the wait can feel like it lasts forever. The home study is a very extensive process that looks at every detail of your life, it is to make sure the individual or couple is going to be a fit parent. They ask for many recommendations and referrals and complete interviews. My home study is complete, finally! My classes, paperwork, and home study are finished and I have been approved by the agency's director. I am officially a licensed foster parent.

The wait then began for a placement call, a call that is life changing and unpredictable. I was licensed for over 8 weeks before I received my call and at times the wait was beyond what I thought my anxiety could handle and felt excruciating. The waiting and the stress are now over, I got the call and I would be bringing Bear home.

Now she is in my home, it doesn't mean that the work is over. Bear is not mine legally, but when it comes to matters of the heart she is. I am providing support, protection, love, and comfort.  The foster journey has just begun for both of us. There will be many doctor appointments, visits with social workers, case workers, birth mom and family members, court hearings and decisions that this child (and me at times) simply will/cannot understand.

The goal of foster care is for the child to be reunited with their birth parents or family members after a period of time. The child is placed in a home to be cared for while the parents complete the tasks required of them prior to having their children placed back with them. This process can take up to two years.

I am so blessed to be able to do this and that God has called me to be a parent. These past few months He has prepared my heart and mind for the days to come and I am so excited. With each child that I (and my family) welcome into the home, I know they are placed with me at the right time (God has impeccable timing). I also know they will leave when they are supposed to. Each child will have their own unique set of challenges and issues, but they deserve a home and a family. A place where they can learn, feel safe and be loved unconditionally; for most of these children this will be a first for them.

No child deserves to be put into an environment or situation that does not foster growth and development, safety, and love, and that is one of the biggest reasons I chose to foster. Our teacher during our classes always said we "are planting a seed" and assisting in ending a cycle of brokenness.

Thank you to everyone who contributed to helping me with the home study process from the references to the recommendations to helping me answer questions about myself; I am forever grateful. Thank you for your prayers and asking about the process. Thank you for asking about foster care in general, it comes with a stigma that all foster children are "bad" or have mental health issues and with your inquiries it helps provide more knowledge and understanding into the world. I would love to repay each and everyone one of you but money nor things can do what you did for me and this child.

I am so excited for Bear to be in my home and excited to see where this foster journey is going to take us. There will be very little details shared about her family history or personal information due to privacy policies (and no detailed photos will be posted via social media sites). 

The biggest thing Bear and I could ask of you now is to pray. Pray for us as we embark on this new journey together as a new family unit. Pray that Bear's birth family is healing and working towards ending the cycle of brokenness. Many forget that in order for a foster parent to receive a placement a family has been broken apart. Pray that Bear's mom is given the strength to succeed for herself and for Bear. Pray for all the children in foster care and their families as well as the entire team that is involved in the case. Pray that God will direct everyone to make the best decisions possible for that child(ren).

"For he chose us in Him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in His sight. In love, he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ in accordance with his pleasure and will." - Ephesians 1:4-5

A Christmas Card to Remember

"Amanda- Merry Christmas! I wanted to let you know how grateful I am to be working with you. Out of all of the co-workers, I think I've had the most opportunity to chat with you- and I really appreciate our conversations. It's evident that you love people. Not that you are just extroverted and get excited around them but that you really care for people. I see this with your kids so often. You are always coming up with such fun ideas so that they will learn and be challenged. You genuinely care for them and want them to grow. You pour yourself out for them, sacrificing much for their good.
It's really self-less and is such an encouragement to be around. Thank you for that example- loving unconditionally and doing your job with all of your heart!
I cant help but think about Jesus at Christmas. How we were hopeless and lost, but God had so much love for us that he sent his Son into the world to die for us and reconcile us to him. To me, thats the ultimate example of unconditional love- and I can attest personally that knowing Jesus better has helped me really understand what it means to love God and others. I'm grateful when I see examples of that love- and I see that example in you. I pray you too would be encouraged and drawn to Jesus this Christmas- that you would be filled with love and joyous peace from knowing him. Appreciate you!"

I often tell others (generally through a card or note) how their personal relationship with God and involvement in Church has helped my faith and relationship with God grow. Not very often do I receive something that says the opposite, how I show examples throughout my life.

I received this note in a Christmas card a few years ago from a fellow co-worker. I was so touched and honored that they put a lot of thought into a simple card around a big holiday when a lot of times society may stigmatize it for revenue and presents. To know that they sat down and put effort into this note, means so much to me still. I keep the card in my Bible and read it when I am feeling discouraged. It is a great reminder of why I do what I love and that ultimately God is the answer for everything in my life.  He showed the greatest example of unconditional love and we can learn and lean on that example.

Lent

Growing up, Lent was a huge deal in my life, I was baptized and raised Catholic. I attended Catholic school and went to Mass almost every weekend with my family. Every Lenten season, I chose to give up something: chocolate, cookies, pop, and ice cream as the usual. One year I remember giving up red meat (I ate a lot of chicken in those 40 days). Most of the time, our religion teacher led our path to what we chose to give up but I had little understanding of the meaning as to why we were giving something up. I didn't understand the sacrifices Christ made for me let alone what he went through and continued to go through for my salvation.
Now as an adult, I have a new perspective and choosing something to sacrifice for Lent takes a lot more thought and preparation on my end. I reflect on things that I use a lot of in my life and how sacrificing that said thing or things would make my life better. I choose to sacrifice something that will help "save" my life as Jesus chose to save mine.
This year, I chose frivolous spending. I have a great job where I earn the right amount of money to cover bills and extras every month, but it wasn't until I took this job that I realized how much I spend each month (or in a 40 day period). I am a sub-contractor now and I have to track every penny spent while on the job. I had no idea how much gas, food, or supplies I was buying until I had to start keeping receipts and track of it all. It was a ridiculous amount and that was just what I was recording. I wasn't recording anything I was spending for personal use. I knew/know I had to make a change.
To make sure I was choosing something that would require me to really attend to what I was doing daily, I looked back at everything I had spent whether it was by cash, gift cards, debit or credit cards for the previous 40 days prior to Lent.  I never spent more than I made, but basically it came down to a difference of pennies from what I earned and what I spent each month.
Once I decided to sacrifice frivolous spending I set my parameters. I looked up the definition of frivolous to make sure what I was justifying to spend (basic bills, gas, & necessities) during the 40 days was accurate and would not fall into the frivolous category. I had some trips planned prior to Lent and set aside money and set a budget for each so to not falter.
I have chose to keep all of my debit and credit cards at home so I do not have easy access and it is making think twice before spending. Instead of cards, I have $20 in my wallet with the goal for it to last at least 20 days. It can be spent on anything but once it is gone it's gone. Well it's been almost 7 days and my $20 is gone but to a good cause. I donated it to one of my favorite restaurants that experienced a horrific event last week. I have another 13 days before $20 can go back in my wallet.  
Even though it has been 7 days since Lent began, this sacrifice and challenge has really shown me that it isn't important to have everything I want or consider a "need." That taking a moment to realize this helps me get closer to God and the real reason for the season of Lent.

On top of sacrificing for Lent I also began a new Bible study from Nap Time Diaries. I love Bible studies as they help me reflect on my relationship with God and help keep my faith in the forefront of everything I do. I am not someone who will willingly walk up to a stranger and discuss my beliefs and attempt to "save" someone, but I also will not do something if I believe it goes against my values and morals (thank you mom and dad and Catholic school for this upbringing). I believe religion and faith are private and everyone is entitled to what they believe, even if I may disagree (even blogging about faith sometimes gives me anxiety). I am honestly struggling quite a bit with this Bible Study. Every day of Lent a scripture passage is provided along with blank space for reflection. The reflection part is very difficult for me as I like guidance following a scripture passage. Without this, it has required me to dig deeper into my thoughts to produce even a simple sentence. I know though that this Bible study is the one chosen for me. Many things have changed for me in the past 6 months and are going to continue to change in the coming weeks ahead (more on this in future posts). This study which looks at eight different characteristics of God is also showing me how to work within myself to strengthen each one of the characteristics in my own personal life and how to strengthen my relationship with him. In addition to the Bible study, I follow an account on Instagram (@daily_bibleverses) that provides one character from the Bible each day throughout Lent. Each character provides concrete examples of how we should live our lives for God. Ironically, the individuals they are discussing coincide with my Bible study and are encouraging me to dig deep.

Hot Fudge Sundae

I am the girl to contact if you ever are looking for free wifi in Columbus. Since I am currently an OT that travels all over Central Ohio to see kiddos in their home, I do my best to find wifi anywhere so I can check email, send reports and access my files. Before you ask, I do have a smart phone with data, however I share my data with 6 other people and do not want to be the one that causes overages on the bill, so I scour for free wifi (and public restrooms. I don't like to use my client's restrooms, I think it is unprofessional; a personal opinion). I have done a great job of finding libraries close to many of the my kiddos homes or a Panera (I really should start taking stock in Panera, I am there at least twice a week).
There is a specific time each week though that I struggle. There is no Panera nor library close enough and usually I go shopping which is causing money to leave my wallet.  I have been looking for a place with wifi and I have finally found a McDonald's that suits my needs, free wifi and a bathroom. I generally do not eat during my McDonald's trips- 1. it's not lunch time and I have already eaten my Panera 2. I don't like to eat out twice in one day 3. not the biggest fan of the golden arches (besides their ice cream). However, I do feel guilty using their wifi, taking up space in their restaurant, and using their bathroom. If I lived in NYC, I would have to purchase something at a McDonald's in order to do one of these.
This week was different, I was feeling guilty so I decided while writing notes and answering emails I would get a hot fudge sundae. I ordered and received my treat and looked for a place to sit. Where I generally sit was taken so I opted for a back corner booth. An older gentleman was seated at a table next to where I chose to sit. He said "hello, how are you?" and me being me, said "I am great, how are you?" He then asked what I had ordered as it looked delicious. I told him it was delicious and it was a hot fudge sundae. I thought once I responded and pulled my work out the conversation would end as it generally does, but this was not the case. He asked what school I went to since I had a bag with me and what homework I was going to work on. I told him I was not in school and that I was an OT that travels from home to home to work with children with special needs. He was interested and we began to talk about anything and everything, almost like we have known each other for quite some time. We talked about Columbus, where each of us grew up, our families and news in the US today. This gentleman was sweet and we talked nonchalantly for probably 15 minutes about anything and everything.
About 10 minutes into the conversation he told me how he had recently lost his wife (3 weeks and 1 day ago). My heart ached for him, my grandfather lost the love of his life 2 years ago. I asked how long they had been married, and he replied 50 years. I explained how both sets of my grandparents have been married for that long or longer as well and I love seeing couples who have lasting marriages. I was raised with this example from all sides of my family and my parents have currently been married for 33 years. He had finished his meal by then and I had finished my ice cream. He told me it was great talking to me and to have a great day. He then proceeded to go back to the counter and ordered a caramel sundae.
After getting his caramel sundae he came back and asked if he could sit with me since his table was now occupied. I replied with a yes and he sat with me as we continued to talk and he finished his sundae. Once finished he got up again and said "good-bye, have a great day." I responded with the same. As much as that gentleman needed me that day, I needed him. I have a feeling that every time I eat a hot fudge sundae from McDonald's I will think of him.