Before Foster Care

I have been struggling to come up with the words and thoughts I had prior to starting my journey into foster care. I don't really remember a lot because as soon as I signed up (and I believe prior to beginning any part of the process) I learned and knew I had to guard my heart.
The purpose of foster care is to reunify a child back to their parents or family through kinship. The thought that the child placed into your care could go home the next day, in the two weeks, in the 6 months, or in a year or more can be devastating and hard to handle. It can be scary to begin building attachment with a child who is not your own, knowing that in the end, they may not be in your life forever.
For me, preparing my heart and mind has definitely been a process that I have relied heavily on God to help me accomplish. I know I will never be prepared for the day my child goes home. And yes, I said my child. Bear is my child, a child who did not ask for this. She is not scary and has no fear in this situation that is an emotional roller coaster every hour of every day. She is little and she is the whole point I chose to do this. She needs an advocate, she deserves someone to rock them, feed them, bathe them, dress them, play with them and love on them.
I am glad I am on this journey and am very thankful for my village that is supporting Bear and I. It definitely would not be as easy as it has been without.

So as for my thoughts prior to foster care, there aren't any. However, there were many times I was asked:
are you prepared to give the child back?
will you be able to move on?
are you afraid?


And my response:
Yes, I am prepared; that is one of the reasons for foster care. Yes, I will be able to move on because I have planted a seed and helped end a cycle of brokenness even if the moment seems fleeting. Yes, I am afraid, but I am more afraid of what would have happened to Bear or what will happen to any foster child for that matter if no one took the risk to love them.