A Hard one to Write....The day that was perfect

It has been 3 months (I started this on 02/23/12) since I originally began this post and each time I open up my blog to write I get stuck. I will jot a few sentences down and then I erase it all. Towards the end of February I lost my great-grandmother and it was and still is pretty hard for me to deal with, I think about her daily and still wish I had time with her. I was very close to my grandmother and have been at a loss for words since her passing. My grandmother was born in the '20s and was very independent, even in the later years of her life. She did not want to be a burden to anyone and even though sometimes it felt like a burden, I enjoyed my times with her. Everyone has that family member that can drive them crazy but it definitely was rewarding for me to have her for 24 years of my life. That is how I look at it now after her passing. I was extremely fortunate to have had my great-grandmother for 24 and 1/2 years of my life, most of my friends have either never met their great-grandparents or had them for only a few years of their life. My grandmother spoiled me rotten, I definitely do not deny that! She took my family and I to California to see the Red Woods and the Pacific Ocean, she took me on my 1st trip to NYC and she taught me the importance of an education. She always took me shopping and never said "no." I don't know why all the sudden I am able to write this post, I haven't had the words to post or I didn't feel the words did enough. When thinking on her final days I think about the Friday before she passed. I spent the entire day with her which is very rare since the past few months I was finishing school my winter quarter, but it was finals week and I took work off that day to be with her. I spent ten hours with the woman I knew and it was like old times again. She sat in her rocker while I laid on the floor or the couch and we watch her soaps, talked about family, looked through the paper, and listened to music. Even though caregivers and nurses were in and out it felt like old times, she slept when she wanted, as did I. The day was absolutely perfect and even though the looming illness was the big elephant in the room, it never once felt like we were being squished. I now thank God for that day I had with my grandmother and I think it was the closure I was looking for. Since her passing, I have been wanting this piece to come to me and allow me to move on, but unfortunately due to family issues since her passing it has been nearly impossible too, but I believe that day was my closure. I meant to visit my grandmother the Sunday before she passed and instead I stayed home to work on homework. I called and told her that I would then see her Tuesday but unfortunately that was not the case. I would see her that Monday night in a way that I wished never came. Right before she got really weak and ill, she handed me this card (that was our thing, I always sent her cards for any and every occasion) that I made her when I was really little. She handed me the card that told her if she ever were to get sick that I would take care of her because I did not want her to die. Whenever she handed me the card to read I would say that's the truth and I still don't want her to die. I cannot wait for the day that I can tell my kids about their great-great-grandmother and I hope that my future kids have that same relationship with theirs. Love you a bushel and a peck ;)